Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hitting is Never Acceptable

Quote 1: "Beside every great man is a good woman"
Quote 2:"You can be the woman who changes his ways"
Quote 3: "He only acts like this because he loves me"

In one of my classes we discussed this theory called Ogden's Triangle of Meaning which esentially means, different things mean different things to different people.

The three quotes I have listed about can be open to interpertation.

Some people believe that quote 1 is suppose to be behind every great man is a good woman. I beg to differ. If we plan to be partners in relationships and in life, we are equal. Regardless of who makes the most money, who has the higher education, the age, etc. If I EVER meet a man who believes I should be behind him... that would be the end of our relationship.

Quote 2: You can be the woman who changes his ways is another crock of crap. If he cheated once, he is likely to cheat again and you just won't find out about it this time. If he is bringing home 'gifts' that you know you didn't give him then that is all the proof you need to know that he is fucking around. I can't seem to understand why women believe that he is all of a sudden different because he is with you. I will say that there are a handful of guys that do change but most of them don't. If he had a girlfriend when you met him and ya'll were messing around what the hell makes you believe that you will be any different. Once you give him the control then he knows he can literally push you around and it'll be ok.

Quote 3: The only case that someone would be beating on you out of love is for discipline and that is typically with a parent and child relationship. My mother stop beating me when I was like 16. I'll be damned if the man I'm suppose to love is hitting me. I had one boyfriend shove me during an altercation I grabbed my blade and told him if you EVER put his hands on me like that again so HELP ME GOD I was gonna cut his ass... We never had a problem after that.

Most of you who read this knows or has known someone who is/was in an abusive relationship. That is not cool. Females you need to recognize and know until you 110% love and believe in yourself you are liable to give all the power to another person to rule over you.

If you are a friend to someone who is that situation or you are not sure, Here are some signs to look for:

1. She doesnt want to hang out at all anymore. She spends all of her time alone or with him.
2. Pay close attention to her choice of words: like he threathened me, I don't want to make matters worse, what should I tell him...
3. All of his friends have become her friends and she is careful about what she says about or around them
4. Her relationship with her parents change
5. The lovers quarrels turn into shouting matches and he is telling her things like: this is what you need to do, you aint shit without me, etc
6. Her aura changes: she appears depressed, head always down...

I know someone in that situation and I cannot seem to understand why she is doing this to herself. But I have come to a realization that she is a weak individual. I'd rather be alone and happy then be in a situation that is completely unhealthy. I don't understand how many times a man has to hit you before you realize its time to get out.


I've seen it in my home so I know when things aren't right. But I will end on this note. Love should never physically hurt the body. If you believe it is all right to be treated that way then you deserve every bump, bruise and cut that he gives you. Life is too short to be in a situation that you have to convince yourself that everything is ok.

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