In 2 days I will be celebrating my 21st birthday.
To drink or not to drink is the question...
I have been struggling with my weight for quite some time now.
I took my body fat percentage last week and I am standing at a "healthy" 15%.
I am not happy. During this conversation I found out that most of my body fat is in my upper body and I don't know what to do.
Is it my food? Is it just my genetic makeup?
This is something thats been bugging me bcuz I would like to compete after school is over.
Heptathletes typically reach their awesome strides later on in their careers unless you're Jackie Joyner-Kersee.
I have many more years I'll be able to give. I have had no injuries, and I have numerous potential but its the weight.
I'm at a lost for this.
I am seriously trying to figure things out.
Maybe I'll get a trainer.
IDK.
I need help
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
iWant
I want to write a stay strong anti-love break up song.
I want to make magic happen for all those who are alone.
I want women to remember to love themselves stablely and whole hartedly before they can love someone else.
I want to sereande the broken hearts the way Mary J did when I was growing up.
I want to declare no more drama in my life.
I want to live, laugh and love until the day the lord calls me home!
Indie.Arie speaks to me.
Brandy sings my soul.
MJB talks about the heartache.
Alicia Keys warms me up.
I want to make magic happen for all those who are alone.
I want women to remember to love themselves stablely and whole hartedly before they can love someone else.
I want to sereande the broken hearts the way Mary J did when I was growing up.
I want to declare no more drama in my life.
I want to live, laugh and love until the day the lord calls me home!
Indie.Arie speaks to me.
Brandy sings my soul.
MJB talks about the heartache.
Alicia Keys warms me up.
I want to write a stay strong anti-love break up song.
I want to make magic happen for all those who are alone.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Single Lifestyle
Soooooooooooo much for my last blog bcuz that nigga lost his damn mind. For reasons I choose not to disclose my ex and I will not be working on anything ever again, not even breathing the same air.
After having close that chapter, I have had time to actually think about the things I have seen and experiences I gone through. I realized one thing..
dare I say it...
I'll be single for a long time if not the rest of my life...
maybe I only say that now bcuz I'm young but I honestly feel that its the way its going to be.
I've seen dudes and chicks do the same shiesty crap then talk about forgiveness.
I know men who have cheated on their wives/girlfriends and women who've cheated on their husbands/boyfriends... then say they love the significant other. SMH
Why must you continue to live a lie? Ppl are having children early and having not been married. By the time I am ready to settle down there will not be any baggage-less men to choose from... lol.
I doubt I can be in a serious relationship right now unless we are talking about or considering getting married bcuz I am not wasting my youth in a relationship with no longer term promise.
My lil cuz Grave said it best... "I feel like I'm missing out on my youth, not even 21 and mad serious with someone." SMH but Jah know its the truth...
But I also know that a part of me craves that feeling of wanting to be wanted (if that makes sense). I find myself having it fulfilled by guys who I have no real emotional investment in for fear of getting hurt.
I am not gonna try to pull the INDEPENDENT woman card bcuz thats a BS defense mechanism for women in denial. I don't need a man but I know I would like one, eventually.
Don't get me wrong single life is fun. I can come and go as I want and do as I please whenever I want, with whom ever I want. But I don't trust no dude, period.
Married men want me to be the other woman. Single men want me to be their sexy toy. sounds like fun... uh no!!!
I just want a friend or some friends who I can kick it with and turn to when I need comfort. I can take some blame bcuz I am somewhat of a flirt and my natural sex appeal gives the wrong idea but I'll make it clear what I want from jump street. Am I wrong for just wanting that?
Why must this be so complicated? Why is it the ones I like don't appreciate me for all that I do?
I've grown into such a beautiful woman with scars that have killed my soul as someone with the capacity to love. Its hard for me to actually believe there is someone out there who will love me for the person I am and be able to give me what I need.
i guess I'm just a lost soul searching....
On that note...
"YOU TOYED WITH MY AFFLICTION HAD TO FILL OUT MY PRESCRIPTION FOUND THE REMEDY
I HAD TO SET YOU FREE
AWAY FROM ME
TO SEE CLEARLY THE WAY THAT LOVE CAN BE WHEN YOU ARE NOT WITH ME
I HAD TO LEAVE,
I HAD TO LIVE,
I HAD TO LEAD,
I HAD TO LIVE" Maxwell
After having close that chapter, I have had time to actually think about the things I have seen and experiences I gone through. I realized one thing..
dare I say it...
I'll be single for a long time if not the rest of my life...
maybe I only say that now bcuz I'm young but I honestly feel that its the way its going to be.
I've seen dudes and chicks do the same shiesty crap then talk about forgiveness.
I know men who have cheated on their wives/girlfriends and women who've cheated on their husbands/boyfriends... then say they love the significant other. SMH
Why must you continue to live a lie? Ppl are having children early and having not been married. By the time I am ready to settle down there will not be any baggage-less men to choose from... lol.
I doubt I can be in a serious relationship right now unless we are talking about or considering getting married bcuz I am not wasting my youth in a relationship with no longer term promise.
My lil cuz Grave said it best... "I feel like I'm missing out on my youth, not even 21 and mad serious with someone." SMH but Jah know its the truth...
But I also know that a part of me craves that feeling of wanting to be wanted (if that makes sense). I find myself having it fulfilled by guys who I have no real emotional investment in for fear of getting hurt.
I am not gonna try to pull the INDEPENDENT woman card bcuz thats a BS defense mechanism for women in denial. I don't need a man but I know I would like one, eventually.
Don't get me wrong single life is fun. I can come and go as I want and do as I please whenever I want, with whom ever I want. But I don't trust no dude, period.
Married men want me to be the other woman. Single men want me to be their sexy toy. sounds like fun... uh no!!!
I just want a friend or some friends who I can kick it with and turn to when I need comfort. I can take some blame bcuz I am somewhat of a flirt and my natural sex appeal gives the wrong idea but I'll make it clear what I want from jump street. Am I wrong for just wanting that?
Why must this be so complicated? Why is it the ones I like don't appreciate me for all that I do?
I've grown into such a beautiful woman with scars that have killed my soul as someone with the capacity to love. Its hard for me to actually believe there is someone out there who will love me for the person I am and be able to give me what I need.
i guess I'm just a lost soul searching....
On that note...
"YOU TOYED WITH MY AFFLICTION HAD TO FILL OUT MY PRESCRIPTION FOUND THE REMEDY
I HAD TO SET YOU FREE
AWAY FROM ME
TO SEE CLEARLY THE WAY THAT LOVE CAN BE WHEN YOU ARE NOT WITH ME
I HAD TO LEAVE,
I HAD TO LIVE,
I HAD TO LEAD,
I HAD TO LIVE" Maxwell
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