When?!?!?!

When

enough is enough where do you go....

I once did a monologue from

"for colored girls who considered suicide when the rainbows enough"

(side note: quotations "-" recognize quotes from the monologue)

"lady in yellow: my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face.
lady in brown: my love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face.
lady in purple: my love is too sanctified to have thrown back on my face.
lady in blue: my love is too magic to have thrown back on my face.
lady in orange: my love is too saturday nite to have thrown back on my face.
lady in red: my love is too complicated to have thrown back on my face.
lady in green: my love is too music to have thrown back on my face."

I was the lady in YELLOW but I draw parallels with all these women

Ive wondered if I deserve die.......

would I be happier in heaven {{of course}}

or bcuz i was born in a life of sin would I go to hell.....

but my mom would miss me too much

I can't seem to figure out if everything that has been served to me is

because

its to happen

or

if I bought it upon myself :-(

It took me years to be comfortable in myself

build myself up and enjoy my life on my own terms

"i found god in myself& i loved her / i loved her fiercely"

After everything EVERY MAN has put me though..

from my father to my last boyfriend

I realized never settle for less than the best someone can give

UNCONDITIONALLY

"one thing I don’t need

is any more apologies

i got sorry greetin me at my front door

you can keep yrs

i don’t know what to do wit em

they don’t open doors

or bring the sun back

they don’t make me happy

or get a mornin paper

didn’t nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars

cuz a sorry."

I'm happy at this time in my life bcuz I did what

I NEEDED to do FOR ME and no one else!!!!

Enough is enough and

THIS COLORED GIRL WILL NOT CONSIDER SUICIDE WHEN THE RAINBOW IS ENOUGH

We all got dreams and we all star reaching, all star peaking, all-star weekend(Drake)